The Ultimate Test
by Claudaujay
Summary: When Galinda declares herself the best matchmaker on campus, she is provided with the ultimate test. It's stupid. It's ridiculous. Avaric and Elphaba are completely incompatible... right? Shiz-era, mostly musicalverse, AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**When Galinda declares herself the best matchmaker on campus, she is provided with the ultimate test. It's stupid. It's ridiculous. Avaric and Elphaba are completely incompatible... right? Shiz-era, bits of bookverse but mostly musicalverse, AU.**_

 **So lately, I've been reading the multitude of fanfictions from the popular Fiyeraba writers, vinkunwildflowerqueen and Ultimate Queen of Cliffies. An overriding theme in pretty much all their stories was Elphaba and Avaric's loathing of each other, especially in vinkunwildflowerqueen's Breakfast Club oneshot, so I thought I'd give Elpharic a go (make sure, if you haven't, to go and check out both of these writers)!**

 **Note: this is VERY AU, obviously. Here, Galinda and Fiyero are still going out, although the hat scene at the OzDust took place so they ARE friends with Elphaba. In addition, the Lion Cub scene has not and will not happen in this story, so Dillamond is still teaching and essentially, Elphaba, Galinda, Fiyero, Boq and Nessa have become a big friendship group. Tbh, I have absolutely no idea if this is a plotline that's been used before, but if it has I sincerely apologise.**

 **I should also warn you that I am certainly not going full out in terms of my writing style with this one. Usually, I like to publish pretty arty stuff, but this is purely meant to be fun and lighthearted, so don't expect long, meandering descriptions like in Alike or Syreni. :)**

 **Without further ado, here's the story!**

* * *

 _ **The Ultimate Test**_

 **Chapter One:**

The cafe in Railway Square had become something of a safe-haven for the students of Shiz University. It was one of the most popular meeting places, and indeed, many friendship groups had adopted it is their main "hanging out" zone. Who could blame them? The friendly, serene and therapeutic atmosphere was undeniable to even the most cynical pessimist, and it provided an escape from the studying strifes of overdue essays and long, time consuming lectures.

One such friendship group that the enjoyed the comforts of the cafe was that of Fiyero, Glinda, Boq, Nessarose and Elphaba. If someone, for whatever reason, was looking to find the usually inseparable group, the first place they'd inevitably resort to was there. Be it morning, afternoon and evening, you could proably count on glancing through the large glass windows of the cafe and seeing them sat on the leather armchair in the corner, sipping their various preferred coffee types and gossiping like... well, like gossipy university students.

Undoubtedly, the bubbly and slightly too pink-obsessed Galinda was the main source of chatter amongst them, and on that fateful Friday morning, she was relaying it to her friends with an intimidating ferocity.

'I just can't believe that I ever actually liked those two!' she cried, shaking her head in apparently genuine distress.

Her boyfriend, the scandalacious Vinkun prince Fieryo Tiggular, was trying and failing to hide his obvious amusement at the blonde's bitching. 'Yeah, Pfannee and Shenshen are pretty annoying.'

'I know! All they ever do is talk about fashion. It's so shallow.'

Fiyero and Boq shared a meaningful glance, both thinking it somewhat hypocritical for Galinda to criticise her previous "besties" for being interested in clothing. At that moment, she was wearing a pink dress with an almost ridiculous multitude of frills; overall, it left staggeringly little to the imagination.

The prince took a sip of his coffee. 'They're attractive though,' he commented, which earned him a death glare from Galinda.

Nessa sighed, oblivious to the fact they were clearly joking. 'Honestly, all you two do is argue. Are you really incapable of getting through one conversation without offending each other?'

Boq laughed. 'Trust Nessa to play the righteous card.'

Fiyero burst into an impersonation. 'Honestly, how could you possibly consider making a joke? The Unnamed God would surely disapprove!'

Nessa blushed bright pink, which only evoked further giggles from the group. Eventually, Boq gently squeezed the wheelchair-bound girl's hand, if anything only deepening her embarassment.

The tender moment elicited a typically Galinda-esque squeal. 'Oh, you two are just the cutest! I'm so glad you ended up together.'

As the couple glanced away bashfully, Fiyero raised an eyebrow. 'You act as if it wasn't entirely down to you that they did.'

She smiled but waved it off. 'Oh, my involvement was really quite limited.'

'Need I remind you of the party at the OzDust you organised solely for the occasion?' he asked.

'Or the hours you spent convincing me that it was a mistake to break up with her in the first place?' Boq added.

'Or the additional hours you spent telling me the invitation wasn't intended as a show of sympathy?'

She looked away but was evidently pleased at the praise lavished on her efforts. 'Well... the party was quite amazifying.' A frown suddenly contorted her countenance. 'It was a shame Elphaba didn't come though. I bought a new dress for her and everything.'

Boq snorted. 'Oh yes, because we all know parties at the OzDust, Elphaba and clothing provided by you is a fantastic combination.'

She decided to ignore this remark.

Fiyero glanced towards the entrance of the coffee shop. 'Incidentally, where is Elphaba?' He checked his watch. 'It's almost nine o'clock.'

'Yeah,' Boq said. 'She's usually the first one here.'

Galinda wrinkled her nose. 'Studying,' she told them.

'What for?'

'Her Sorcery final.'

'But that's almost three months away!'

'And you're surprised because...?'

Fiyero looked horrified, and Galinda smiled. 'To be frank, I'm amazed you're even aware what studying is, let alone when your exams are coming up.'

The horror quickly morphed into a rather annoyed scowl, which of course only encouraged their witch-like cackling all the more. 'That was low.'

'Tell me- was it three universities you'd been expelled from before Shiz, Yero?' Nessa teased.

The fact that even she was getting in on the jokes elicited a bluster, 'Well, I take solace in the fact that unlike Elphaba, I have a social life outside of this group.'

The giggling ceased immediately. 'Whoa, calm down,' Boq said, sounding taken back. 'We were just having fun.'

Fiyero closed his eyes for a heartbeat. 'I know- it's just- I guess I'm a bit stressed out over these exams already. I don't wanna get kicked out of Shiz as well. Unlike the other places, I kinda like it here.'

'Perhaps you could spend a bit more time with Elphaba? She'd help you out.'

The cheeky smirk returned faster than it had left. 'Come on Boq. I'm not that desperate.'

And then, like a proverbial and horrifically overused flash, the welcomed camaraderie returned. It was a quality that all six of the group appreciated- the ability to be easygoing and equally supportive with each other simultaneously.

'In fairness, Yero was right about one thing,' Galinda said. 'We really need to get Elphaba's nose out of textbooks more often.'

In actuality, when Galinda used the first person plural pronoun "we", she meant the first person singular pronoun "I". Ever since that partly disastrous, partly miraculous incident with the pointed hat, Galinda had declared it some form of personal crusade to help Elphaba become as popular as she was. The first, and indeed already accomplished, part of the mission was to establish her in a steady friendship group- from this, the five of them had emerged, and they were all far happier as a result. The effect was most noticeable in the green girl however, whose confidence and self-esteem appeared to have improved immensely. The next stage, involving getting Elphaba dressed in more socially acceptable clothes, hadn't worked out quite so well, but Galinda certainly wasn't one to give up.

'There's another party at the Gentleman's Club coming up soon,' she murmured, a little absently. 'I might be able to get her to attend.'

The three others met eyes. It had become a topic of near constant discussion amongst them over who was going to break the news to Galinda. Months had passed since when they'd become friends and Elphaba wasn't a milimetre closer to being popular. All of them thought it was probably time to make the Gilikan face the music: Elphaba was perfectly happy as she was.

At long last, Nessa decided to take the initiative. 'Listen Galinda- I know your intention is to help my sister, believe me, but has it occured to you she might... well-'

'Not want to be changed?' Fiyero interjected pointedly.

Galinda raised her head. 'The ignorant just don't know any better!' she exclaimed. 'That girl has so much potential. With a splash of makeup and a new wardrobe, she'll be fully Galindafied.'

'That's exactly the point,' Fiyero replied. 'You're two completely different people. I mean, can you really imagine her wearing the sort of clothes you do?'

'She's stubborn,' came her insistent reply. 'Besides, pink goes well with green.'

He looked away, frustrated that words left him devoid of a proper answer. The smug look of satisfaction that settled over his girlfriend's face did little to assuage him.

'Oh, I can't wait to see Elphie when she's popular,' she rambled, sub-conciously beginning to count things off on her slender fingers. 'I simply _have_ to take her and get some stilettos, and some new dresses for summer. Oooh, then we can have makeovers in dorm and talk about boys! I bet she'll even be dating by then-'

'Oh yeah, because that's gonna happen. No one could like Fae romantically regardless of popularity.'

Sometimes, there are times where you're left pondering why in the Wizard's name you thought it was good idea to speak. At that point, Fiyero experienced one of them. Boq and Nessa looked at him as if he'd just announced he was in truth a repressed Unionist, and Galinda seemed positively furious.

'That was uncalled for-' Nessa began, but the Gilikan got their first.

'Fiyero Tiggular, you massive, unparalleled jerk!'

'What? It's true!' he defended, feeling worse by the second. 'Fae's my friend, but we have to admit her chances are pretty minimal. She's as green as the Emerald City.'

'And you're as much of a douchebag as Avaric,' Galinda snapped.

Boq glanced between them uneasily. 'Guys, please-'

'Come off it. You know that I'm right.'

Her face was flushing bright red. 'Elphie's beautiful! Of course guys want to go out with her!'

'Go on then. Name one.'

Galinda bit her lip, and in the silence that followed, Fiyero wished he had the good grace to back out of the argument and apologise. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to force the words out. He knew how close the blonde and Elphaba had become over the last few months, almost to the point where if someone insulted her skin colour Galinda got just as if not more annoyed, but in the heat of the moment it barely crossed his mind.

'Fine.' With a huff, the pink-adorned girl stood up crossly, arms folded around her midriff. 'I'm the best matchmaker in all of Shiz! I bet you that by the end of the month I could get Elphaba on a date with any boy at all in our year.'

Fiyero's eyes widened, as did those of Nessa and Boq. All of them realised things were veering sharply out of control, but both of the participants in the argument were far too worked up to give up on it now.

The prince shifted in his seat, in a state of clear discomfort. Upon noticing that his girlfriend was turning to leave, the same victorious smirk on her face as before, he blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.

'Well, if I'm comparable to him in your eyes, how about Avaric?'

Silence.

Silence.

And a little more silence.

Eventually, Galinda closed her mouth, which had fallen open in shock at Fiyero's suggestion. She attempted to retain a cool expression, but understood how impossibly difficult to escape the hole she'd dug herself was. This was the kind of hole that you couldn't see the bottom of, whereupon if you fell in, you'd surely be lost and forgotten forever. Nonetheless, she was far too proud to decline.

'Alright, _Yero_ ,' she practically hissed. 'When I'm finished, Avaric and Elphaba are going to be so blindly in love, you'll regret... you'll regret... you'll regret _something_!'

With that, she twisted on her heels and marched out of the cafe, vaguely resembling an angry pink storm cloud.

* * *

 **Okay, I know what you're thinking- it was melodramatic and cheesy and overall pretty rubbish. Still, I have to admit I had an awful lot of fun writing it! I suppose it's kinda nice to waste time writing something without having to pay loads of attention to detail- just for the fun of it, you know? Not that I dislike doing my usual material- quite the contrary.**

 **Anyways, I'll probably update this story on and off. I have my priority fanfics to work on simultaneously, but I churned this out in about three hours so I might be able to get something done every weekend. Then again, my periods of motivation and so sporadic that's probably quite unlikely. Still, hope you'll enjoy them when they come!**

 **Please consider leaving a review and telling me your thoughts on the opening chapter. :P**

 **-Claud**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Okay, I know it's horrendously short, but the next chapter is going to be longer and I felt like if I spliced the two together it would be introducing stuff too quickly. Nonetheless, hope you enjoy the first focus on Elphaba!**

 **Also, thanks a bunch for the reviews on the first chapter! I thoroughly appreciate it. :)**

* * *

 _ **The Ultimate Test**_

 **Chapter Two:**

Elphaba, to the surprise of nobody, was busy studying. A pair of well used spectacles sat on the bridge of her somewhat slanted nose, which was perhaps a little too close to the surface of the textbook she was currently lost inside in. Never was the phrase "model student" more appropriately utilised than in reference to this girl, who although still in her first year of attendance at Shiz University, must've broken some sort of record for most time spent in the library (indeed, she'd probably borrowed more books than everyone else in her year combined). Her left arm, in a perpetual state of being raised, was surely the most exercised muscle in her body. Her lecture attendance record was so spotless you could probably use it clean a desk.

Unfortunately, exemplary behaviour and top marks on every exam may have made her the most popular student with the professors, but had pretty much the opposite effect with those of her age group. Not that being good at sports and hanging out with the right cohorts would've made any difference, because Elphaba was also totally, impossibly and undeniably green.

Needless to say, this particular appearance trait elicited constant mockery from her peers and, in fairness, an admittedly imaginative carousel of wry vegetable comments. Very few people actually knew her by her name, instead preferring to refer to her simply as "the green girl"; but Elphaba was used to such treatment at this stage in her life. Until arriving at Shiz, the only person who'd been willing to sustain a civilised conversation with her was Nessarose, so the fact that this select group had recently been extended to five continued to astound her.

Just as Elphaba had reached the concluding paragraph of her textbook chapter, she heard the sound of the door knob being twisted. It swung open to reveal Galinda, her roomate, and speak of the devil, one of her new found friends. They were absolute polar opposites: the layout of their shared dorm was evidence enough of this, for on the Gilikin girl's side there lay deserts and swamps of dresses and pink accessories, whereas Elphaba's was the definition of neat that's most overriding colour was black. For the better part of three or four months, the unlikely pair had loathed each other, until an incident involving a hat (it'd become a mutual agreement never to speak of it). Now, there couldn't have been a stronger contrast.

When Galinda entered a room, you could usually be guaranteed of some sort of bright, cheerful exclamation, but the stormy silence and leap onto her bed informed Elphaba the blonde was annoyed.

'I assume something's wrong?' she commented drily, without glancing up.

The lack of a response spurned her forward. 'Allow me to guess- relationship problems? Perhaps our favourite Vinkun prince priotised speaking over thinking again?'

'How did you know?'

'What, that Fiyero's a brainless idiot or that you had an argument?'

Galinda snorted. 'The first's one certainly true. He's just such a... such a meanie!'

'Indeed.'

She crossed her arms and pouted, looking very childish. 'You could at least try to sound interested, Elphie.'

'Well, excuse me, but I finding your so called "dream" relationship nightmarishly tiresome. How in Oz is that wedding you told me was a mere formality going to happen if you squabble every other day?'

Elphaba didn't really need an indication to see inform her the words were a tad harsh, but Galinda's murderous glare certainly provided one. Sighing, she closed her textbook with a great deal of reluctance and refocused her attention.

'I apologise, my pretty. Go on.'

She didn't require another invite. 'Why does Fiyero always feel the need to put his foot in it? Us, Nessa and Boq were just hanging out in the cafe, having a wonderfying time, and then he ruined everything!'

She buried her head in her hands, and Elphaba couldn't resist a smile at her typical melodramatics. 'Is this the point where I inquire what exactly his atrocious verbal crime entailed?'

To her surprise, Galinda immediately stiffened and didn't answer for a moment, as if contemplating whether she was trustworthy or not.

'There's not much point. You don't care anyway,' she said finally.

With a frown, Elphaba stood up and took a seat on the opposite bed beside her. 'Galinda, I was only teasing. You can tell me anything you want. We're best friends, after all...' She hesitated. 'Right?'

The Gilikan's facade of grumpiness melted away, leaving a beam in its place. 'Oh Elphie, of course we are!' she cried, flinging her arms around the green girl in a rather aggressive hug.

Elphaba froze, still unused to blatant shows of affection from anyone. Awkwardly, she returned the gesture, but her insides were fluttering. Friendship, she mused. She'd thought it was something reserved only for those who were pretty and frivolous and popular, but in the Wizard's name, she now wondered how she'd ever survived without it.

Eventually, Galinda pulled away, still smiling. 'Oh, I wish you'd be less of a grump all of the time. It would make our little project a whole lot easier.'

Elphaba snorted. 'You can't still be lingering on that popularity nonsense?'

'Of course I am! Don't worry Elphie, people will be begging you to spend time with them by the time I'm finished. If you're lucky, they'll like you almost as much as me!'

'I concede that you're mindless optimism is vaguely amusing, if entirely misplaced. It would take a miraculous change of heart for them to forgot "The Artichoke's" skin colour.'

Glinda slapped her lightly on the shoulder. 'What did I just say about your attitude?' she scolded.

Elphaba fought the urge to slap her back, preferably harder, but was aware of the blonde's stubborness (one of the personality traits they shared). Thus, all she did was roll her eyes and sit back down at her desk.

'I refuse to have this conversation again,' she said wearily. 'There's exams to prepare for- a fact which you should also take heed of.'

'Those exams are in three months. Three months.'

The green girl merely reopened her textbook.

Silence reigned in the dormitory for almost ten minutes, which was an impressive feat for Galinda. Having said that, she looked exceedingly bored the whole time, as if they'd just received a homework assignment on the science behind the drying of paint. Or any homework assignment for that matter. Elphaba ignored this and concentrated on the subject content, meaning she failed to notice the second emotion that soon found its place in her friend's countenance. Anxiety.

'Elphaba...'

'Yes?' came the expected monotonous reply.

'What do you think of Avaric?'

Pale blue eyes narrowed. 'And why have I been graced with such a question?'

'Just interested,' Galinda said, far too quickly to avoid suspicion.

'Well, I shall humour you, my pretty. Avaric is quite possibly the most moronic and irritating individual I have met thus far in my life, and I spent the majority of it in Munchkinland. He is the epitome and the physical embodiment of the word "idiocy". His dedication to an existence of debauchery and persistent disregard of school work shows a certain degree of commitment- coincidentally, a degree is one thing I can guarantee he won't be receiving come the end if our time at Shiz.'

If Galinda wasn't too busy revelling in self pity, and wondering how in Oz she was going to pull her dare off, she might've laughed.

'Prepossessing though?' she tried.

'I'd rather not even acknowledge such a distasteful comment.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm so so sorry for the wait on this chapter, but my bursts of inspiration when it comes to writing are wildly sporadic- I went through a period when I couldn't get anything for this chapter done at all, then I wrote half of it in about an hour. :P**

 **Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed the story so far! You're opinions are really inspiring to me. :) In this chapter, we get out first glimpse of Avaric, which naturally means the chapter's going to have its fair share of bad language and shamefully misogynist remarks.**

 **Plz RR.**

* * *

 _ **The Ultimate Test**_

 **Chapter Three:**

Avaric possessed, in his eyes anyway, a great amount of admirable features. Just a few examples of the adjectives in this long, indulgent erray were handsome, jaw-dropping, breath-taking, extraordinary, wonderful, splendid, attractive, sexy and of course, ridiculously wealthy (the latter in this list was of paramount importance to him). Ever since a young age, this margreave-to-be, born into a family of priviledge and perfect Gilikinese heritage, had been given everything he ever asked. The world had lain at his fingertips, like clay to be moulded. His parents adored him. His friends idolised and admired him, and to be brutally frank, why shouldn't they? Any casual onlooker would report his perfection; he was athletic, with sandy blonde hair and sky blue eyes, and when he should require it, perhaps to pass a particularly trying examination, he could be surprisingly insightful and intelligent.

However, this casual onlooker would also find it incredibly easy to highlight Avaric's Tenmeadow's main fault. An overwhelming narcissistic streak. He was no poet, but if one of his professors requested them to write some verse on the subject of themselves, he'd be able to produce an epic poem of proportions that Oz has never seen.

As a result, he was both adored and detested throughout Shiz university. It made very little difference to him personally. They could love him or hate him- he'd still be rich and radiant, and they'd still be poor and pathetic. In short, he didn't care about their opinions. Not even a little bit.

That is, save for one excessively verdant girl.

Dr Dillamond was currently in the middle of one of his mind-numbingly, world-implodingly boring rants about Animal rights. Avaric, as was his regular response to this hideously frequent occurence, was staring into space and enjoying the delicacy of his pencil nib. His textbook lay unopened on the desk, which was also occupied by one of his sort-of friends, Fiyero Tigelaar. Of all the people in Shiz, this Vinkun prince's company was probably the least vexing, save for all the curvacious girls, but even then a pretty face could be soured by an annoying voice or a drab personality. Fiyero ticked most of his boxes for "acceptable companion". He was well-connected considering his hereditary royalty, fun and entertaining save for a few hiccups and genuinely good natured.

'It's in lectures like these that I realise how hard my life is,' Avaric moaned under his breath.

'Uh huh.'

Fiyero himself did not share the same sentiment in regards to their friendship. Avaric could be amusing in a very unsubtle, unaware way, but predominantly he'd come to view him as shallow and obnoxious, which of course had nothing to do with the company he'd been keeping of late.

Avaric chewed his pencil a little more and allowed his mind to wander away. At that moment, the future Margreave was romantically engaged with Pfannee, a fashionable brunette. He didn't really like her... well, he didn't really like _her_ , but he liked her silky hair, her ample breasts and her rosy red lips just fine. It wasn't anything more than another questionable fling in a very, very, very long line of worsening questionable flings, and Avaric expected that it would reach a sour conclusion fairly soon. If he lingered with the same girl for an extended period of time, he observed with distaste, they came to form an _attachment_ to him, which was an emotional burden he had no intention of returnin-

'One moment, professor. I'm afraid I'm not as informed on the Wizard's recent animal bans as I'd like. Would you care to illuminate me?'

The voice immediately sent a shiver down Avaric's spine. _Sweet Lurline, does she_ ever _shut up?_

It would be a reasonably fair assessment to say that Avaric Tenmeadows and Elphaba Melena Thropp often found themselves at odds with each other. Then again, "often" would do well to be replaced by "constantly", and "at odds" essentially sugercoated the true nature of their squabbling. The presence of the two in the same room inevitably led to some sparks, which inevitably lead to some more sparks before finally erupting into a roaring inferno that threatened to consume the entirety of Shiz and everyone attending it. Their personalities simply didn't mix. She loathed his continually swelling ego, and he loathed... well, pretty much everything. He thought she was ugly on the interior and the exterior. Her verdigris merited convulsions of disgust should he come within a two metre radius of her. She was bossy, opinionated and sarcastic in a supremely annoying way. People like her, not that there was anyone else like her _in the whole of Oz_ , were what was intrinsically wrong about their society- _you see_ , Avaric thought scathingly, _I can be political as well._

Dr Dillamond beamed at her, exposing a large, blunt set of teeth. 'Why, of course Miss Elphaba. The Wizard's recent propaganda has been hinting towards the move, but I never dreamed Ozian society would truly regress to such a morally repulsive level- now, the living accomadation for Animals in the Emerald City has been restricted to designated areas, which are already beginning to resemble ghettos. Even then, the rent for living space is extortionate, and in order to compensate for the changes dozens of Animals are being forced to share miniscule rooms only suitable for one.'

'That's outrageous!' came Elphaba's response.

'Outrageously dull, you mean,' Avaric interjected.

The comment merited a wave of amused giggles, and the future margreave smirked at his own joke. If he'd felt the urge to glance to the side, he would notice that Fiyero, in addition to Elphaba, hadn't found it all that funny.

'I see the Animals aren't the only ones having to compensate for the size of things,' she quipped back.

Avaric's eyes narrowed down to slits. Any humourous element that might've been present in her remark was undermined by how blatantly untrue it was. He was on the verge of unlocking his trusty old chest of pre-planned vegetable comebacks, but Dillamond cut in.

'Master Tenmeadows! Miss Thropp! Please show some maturity! I expect higher standards from my students- especially you, Elphaba.'

An annoyed scowl settled over the countenance of both, and after a few tense moments, the lecture hall was deathly quiet. Then, the droning proceeded at it's usual _breakneck_ pace.

Avaric turned to Fiyero. 'Can you believe her? What a bitch.'

'Don't call her that.'

Avaric was momentarily taken back, before recognition flooded back into his eyes. 'Ah, of course. I'd forgotten about you and your new "group"; that is, if the banding together of those socially-retarded misfits can truly be acknowledged as such.'

Fiyero offered no response, staring straight forward, but Avaric knew him too well. He had a telltale blood vessel that writhed like an enraged snake on his forehead. It served as a useful indication of when his teasing was hitting the mark.

'In all honesty Fiyero, I expected better from you. A Vinkun prince, uncivilised though his kingdom may be, is a prince nonetheless, and can surely find more satisfying company than a dwarf, an invalid and a brussel sprout.'

The royal sighed. 'Avaric, can we please not have this conversation again?'

'We'll stop when you give me a proper answer.'

The fair-headed Gilikin utilised his cutting and superior tone to mask the dissonant note of genuine confusion in his words. On the outlook, it would appear bizarre to anyone that Fiyero, someone who Avaric sort've liked (in his own special way of course), would actively choose to spend time with The Loser's Club rather than him. To him personally, it was a persistent and wriggling irritation, though he chose not to make it too obvious. The same went for Galinda Upland, Fiyero's girlfriend: a well-bred girl whose wealth and reputation, although not comparable to his own, meant she would provide an adequate girlfriend for him. As a matter of fact, he'd toyed with the idea of pursuing her once he broke up with Pfannee, as his resolve on the matter of his current plaything had only strengthened throughout the lecture. The former was short, so the size of her physical assets was even more eye-brow raising; her kisses were no doubt a treat he had yet to savour and she wasn't intelligent enough to make him feel dim. All in all, she met his criteria in exuberant style.

About fifteen trillion hours later, the lecture came to a long-awaited halt. Avaric leapt to his feet and practically sprinted out the door in record time- he'd been striving to speed up his classroom escapes by not unpacking his bag or equipment properly, thus aiding the getaway. In fact, his pace was so impressive that he found himself crashing head first into the one girl he'd decided to go and find- Pfannee. In moments, he'd been consumed by the sheer power of her "flirty" hug.

'Hey Avaric,' she cooed, ensnaring him in her grasp. Their close proximity allowed him a generous view of her backside, though by this stage the novelty had worn off somewhat. 'I missed you!'

He raised an eyebrow. 'We were together this morning.'

'I know!' she cried, burying her face even further into his shoulder.

Avaric found this exclamation to be illogical and mindboggling, but understanding of the way the gears of girl's minds operated had evaded him for so long that he didn't bother questioning her on it. Instead, he got straight to the issue at hand.

'Listen babe, we need to chat about-'

'So Avaric,' she said, tracing a line along his chest with her finger, 'me, Milla and Shenshen are planning on heading into town on Saturday. You'll be coming, obviously.'

'What? No, I don't-'

'Oh don't complain Avaric, it will be fun! We'll stop by all the usual outfit shops, and then try out that new Quadling cuisine restaurant on the high street.'

He also found this statement to be an lie- even if the scientific theory contemplating the existence of parallel universes was something he was invested in, he'd find it diifficult to accept there could possibly be a physical place were shopping was "fun". It was final. This needed to be ended now.

He cleared his throat, letting the lines of his well-rehearsed break up speech to return to his consciousness. 'Pfannee, I have something to tell you.'

She blinked. 'What is it?'

'As of today, we'll be seeing other people.'

She stared at him for a period that exceeded the usual length of his girlfriend's "shocked at the dramatic revelation" stare. It was painfully silent, and Avaic suddenly became aware of the fact he'd forgotten to take her somewhere private. Everyone in his class were nearby, and observing with widened, unashamed eyes.

 _Oh well,_ he thought. _At least they'll be no doubt as to who broke up with who._

'Now, I understand this'll be a bit crushing for you. I'm sure you'll want to slap me or something. I'm sorry... okay, that was a lie, I'm not really sorry. I mean, I never gave any indication that this was gonna last, so there's no reason to be too upse-'

The mandatory slap came with a force and ferocity that surprised him somewhat. He reeled back and touched the red handprint on his cheek.

'You horrible, egotistical wankstain on society!' she shrieked.

He raised his eyebrow. 'Impressive. Do you mind if use that insult in future?'

The shriek metamorphisised into a wail of agony. Tears flooded down her face at 100 miles an hour, and she buried her head in her hands.

'There, there,' Avaric said patronisingly, ever the supportive companion. 'You'll find another acceptable, less brilliant boyfriend. Eventually, I suppose.'

She turned around and ran off; her screams were of such a high decibel that there were probably some tinnitus victims in Quadling country that could hear her. He knew he should probably feel a little bad, but the wave of guilt one is supposed to experience after a dumping once again failed to engulf him. Pfannee had often asked him to buy her presents or to just give her money to purchase fashion accessories herself. In that respect, he'd had nits that were less parasitic.

He glanced at his classmates, whose expression's were predominantly of joy, embodied by the girls who now wished to occupy his bed for the next few weeks, or disgust, embodied by Elphaba. Her arms were crossed, and the deep brown eyes were narrowed down to repulsed slits.

He smirked at her, and then clapped his hands. _Well, I think that went rather well._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone. Sorry that it took so long to finish this chapter; I'm just a notoriously slow writer, I'm afraid. :( But, I would like to thank everyone who left reviews on the story! I really appreciate your comments.**

 **Hope you enjoy, and please RR. :P**

* * *

 _ **The Ultimate Test**_

 **Chapter Four:**

The afternoon was descending on the city of Shiz fast; the sky's colour was rapidly shifting from pale blue to light pink, clouds were emerging like black dots on an artist's canvas and Avaric had decided to go out and celebrate. It was an impromptu decision on his part. He had a free evening with no pre-organised parties to attend or hold at the last minute, and while the prospect of staying in and enjoying some alone time might've been fun to some, it was abhorrent to Avaric and the equivalent on his boredom spectrum to doing... _homework._ In his eyes, there was no word in any Ozian language or dialect as repellent, and so here he was, approaching Railway Square and wondering what nightclub or party-hall would be so lucky as to be blessed by his (lets face it) basically divine presence.

He wasn't even celebrating a particular event. The internal justification he'd given himsef was that he was celebrating his much anticipated and highly satisfactory break up with Pfannee, but to all intents and purposes he was just partying for the sake of it. In the hours following that history lecture he'd miraculously managed to spare a few moments to _think_ , and in those moments he'd come to this carefully constructed and eloquently phrased mental conclusion: Pfannee was an high maintenance bitch. He was very glad to see the back of her. In fact, he had always been glad to see the back of her, as that was the reason he'd allowed her to be his girlfriend initially.

Railway Square itself connected to a great many streets and alleyways, all leading off to a separate part of Shiz respectively and indeed to a different venue of pleasure. As he walked across the cobblestoned ground, he noticed one could still see the brickwork of Briscoe and Crage Hall between a gap in a nearby builing. He'd vaguely chosen to head towards the east district of Shiz, as this was where the ever-provocative Philosophy Club, one of his personal preferences, was located. Avaric had, before he left campus, contemplated whether to invite a bunch of his usual cronies or a select minority of fit girls that were still virgins to his greatness. Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands was top of his new list concerning whom he would briefly court next, and although seducing her might take some time and effort considering she was currently accounted for by Fiyero, his irresistable brilliance would inevitably make her swoon and submit to all his whims... eventually. Fiyero could provide an obstacle, but not an insurmountable one.

Almost sub-consciously, Avaric found himself glancing at the numerous shops and restaurants in Railway Square. He was well aware that the cafe on his left was a designated hang out area for Shiz students, but he was more partial to an energised, high octane atmosphere than a soothing one, so rarely went. The windows were huge, allowing him a view of all the customers inside. There were several that he recognised from his lectures. He noticed a ginger haired Gilikin whom he'd once slept with, and though her name slipped his mind, he remembered her as agreeably slutty but amuzingly dim-witted in the same way that one laughed at a cat or pet when it had done something stupid. _Pitifully funny,_ he thought, chuckling at his own internal witticism.

Then, behind a flash of brilliant red, he caught a sudden glimpse of emerald. Avaric stopped.

 _Of course._ This cafe was where Fiyero enjoyed the company of his _friends_. The future margreave scowled. It frustrated him that this should-be minor vexation was metamorphising into a prominent one; then, he would get at annoyed at himself for getting annoyed about the "minor vexation", thus leading to a vicious and self-destructive cycle that usually ended with him hitting something. He knew that it stemmed from the laughable concept that someone of Fiyero's status would genuinely, _seriously,_ prefer the company of that uptight, dogmatic, self-important piece of ugly vegetation, and indeed her pack of mindless followers that were so suggestible as to actually place value in her opinions. Only that it wasn't a concept. It had actually happened. Avaric, in a way, hadn't got his way, which basically wasn't acceptable in any place, time or situation.

Acting solely on the whim of his typically errant impulses, he turned on his heel and navigated through the thinning crowd in Railway Square until he reached the door of the cafe. Upon entry, he was instantly struck by the expected thick aroma of coffee, and that pleasant, almost musty smell that somehow managed to be old yet homely and soothing. The counter was located to the right, and a Munchkinland barista worked away on a cup of coffee for a nearby customer; the tables and chairs, adorned by soft green velvet headrests and cushions, curved around it. The colour was so similar to that of Elphaba's skin that, for a heartbeat, he had to squint to relocate her. Accompanying her in a booth some five metres away were Fiyero, Galinda, Boq and her sister, Nessarose, chatting away animatedly. Elphaba seemed to be dominating the conversation. _No surprise there then,_ he thought, then groaned. _Lurline, I haven't started talking to her and she's getting on my nerves._

Nonetheless, he paraded over to their table with a flourish of bravado, ignoring the less than subte glare shot his way by the ginger girl by the window. Elphaba, noticing him in his approach, somehow managed to exceed his ex girlfriend's efforts in terms of ferocity with little trouble. The table went silent.

'Well...' Avaric drawled, as if his appearance were complete coincidence. 'Here am I, hoping to indulge in a latte when I find my good friend Fiyero's new _gang_ enjoying each other's company. How delightful!'

'My heart swells with joy,' Elphaba deadpanned.

'You must be a very advanced form of plant to have evolved organs.'

She scowled, and turned her head away. Avaric, smiling, considered continuing his onslaught before Fiyero interjected with a sigh.

'Hey Avaric,' the Vinkun said, with noticeably forced decorum. 'Was there anything you wanted?'

He felt like scoffing. _Believe me, there is absolutely_ nothing _I want with this group of spastics._ Boq, the Munchkin, was sat beside beside Fiyero, and in time with his arrival appeared to have suddenly lost all urge to speak (though he had been in the middle of a sentence before). Nessarose, her wheelchair to one side of the booth, was staring straight at the table, looking awkward. Fiyero's lips had tightened. But it was arguably Galinda who looked the most annoyed, comparable even to Elphaba. She was wearing a tight fitting white dress that hugged her frame in all the right places, and allowed him a rather lovely view of her breasts and the cleavage she'd no doubt planned to reveal at least a portion of. Yet in her countenance, he thought he aso detected the slightest hint of... desperation? It quickly turned to a healthy dosage of exasperation when she noticed his eyes lingering a little too long on her chest.

'Though I'm sure you're all be devastated, I did in fact intend just to collect my coffee and head off to the Philosophy Club, but now that I'm here, I find myself inclined to uncover the mystery of the no doubt side-splitting banter your cronies have to offer, Fiyero.' He gestured to Galinda, who was closest to him. 'May I sit down?'

Fiyero's eyes contracted, but this time, it was his turn to be interrupted.

'Shove off Ava-prick,' Elphaba snarled.

The look of desperation on Galinda's face returned, though Fiyero and Nessa smiled, and Boq had to stiffle his giggle.

Avaric feigned surprise at the Munchkin's outburst. 'Oh, Boq! I'm sorry, I didn't notice you when I entered behind the size of the headrest.'

He blushed in embarassment and averted his gaze to his feet.

'Leave him alone,' Nessa said quietly.

Avaric, already inflamed by their laughter, quickly turned on her. 'And what are _you_ going to do about it?'

'Avaric, in the Wizard's name, give it a rest!' Fiyero exclaimed. 'If all you're going to do is insult us, then just leave. No one's gonna stop you.'

The blonde took a moment to compose himself, remembering that it would be entirely counter-productive to leave without at least finding out a little of why this group was so entertaining to his friend. And in truth, it had probably been a tad unnecessary to insult Nessa, considering her... condition. He was born into an aristocratic family, and therefore not devoid of manners.

'My apologies, Nessarose,' he murmured. 'That was uncalled for.'

Fiyero's eyebrows rose in surprise. No one else's did.

'Now, _please_ may I sit down?'

'For the last time,' Elphaba said, ' _go awa-'_

But before she could finish, Galinda abruptly shifted over, allowing him a seat. Boq groaned, and the Thropps gave Galinda a long, hard stare which screamed "What-in-Oz's-name-are-you-doing?!". She merely shrugged, and Avaric smirked as he took the seat. _Maybe it will be easier to steal her from Fiyero than I thought._

'So,' he begun, the momentary lapse in his confidence evaporating, 'what were you discussing?'

Silence.

'Oh come now,' Galinda tried, attempting to cut through the awkwardness, 'there's no harm in making an effort, is there?' She turned to Avaric. 'Elphie here was just telling us about why everyone's in such an uproar about the Yellow Brick Road.'

'Yes _Elphie,_ ' Avaric said, making sure to emphasise the inappropriately perky nickname. 'Tell us more.'

And she did. A _lot_ more. In hindsight, it had been fairly naive for Avaric to give the green girl an open invitation to speak about politics; it wasn't as if she'd ever required an invitation previously. Soon, the group had descended back into the discussion they'd be so engaged in before Avaric's arrival, and wow, was it totally, inexplicably, gut-wrenchingly _boring._

'-and it brings bile to my throat how our good friend the tyrannical Wizard actually believes us so gullible and impressionable as to buy into his obvious propaganda. Namely, that the road is intended to divide Oz rather than connect or unite it.'

Boq shook his head. 'But _how?_ Surely that _is_ what the road is doing: allowing the people of Gilikin, Munchkinland and Quadling country safer and quicker access to the Emerald City!'

She rolled her eyes. 'Must I repeat myself again? The Yellow Brick Road is a mere idea. An attractive idea on paper, yes, but an idea as fatally flawed as nearly all of his policies. Like communism, it would be completely impractical and, in practice, achieve nothing. He is disguising his true intentions for the road behind a facade of fantastical and illusory promises- think of the man power and economic muscle such a construction project will require, two things that the Wizard himself can certainly not spare. No. The responsibility of the building itself will fall on the shoulders of the Quadlings, further damaging the already pitiful state of their economy and leaving their government with only one place to turn. The Wizard himself. And what will he charge them for his aid?'

'Further access to their ruby mines,' Fiyero said gravely.

'Exactly. It is another means for him to quash the uprisings the Gale Force have been dispatched to smooth over along the Quadling border. I'm surprised it took them so long to rebel, to be brutally frank; he has been exploiting their nation for decades. And any intelligent individual will _not_ fall for the lies he paints over the newspapers which, of course, he has total control over.'

'I believed them,' Galinda muttered, sipping her coffee.

Elphaba smiled. 'Yes, but you, my sweet, are _far_ from intelligent.'

'Hey!' she protested, lifting her head. 'Just because I'm not as knowledgified as you doesn't mean I'm stupid.'

'Yes,' Fiyero said, with mock seriousness. 'Gullible and impressionable, to quote Fae, but certainly not _stupid.'_

She shoved him warmly, then twisted around to face Avaric. 'So, what do you think about the Yellow Brick Road?'

Avaric, who hadn't really been listening and also wasn't informed enough to know if the road had been built on not, quickly sat up. 'That it's a road made of yellow bricks?'

'Very insightful,' Elphaba commented dryly.

He glared at her. 'Well, I'm sorry for not paying attention, but anyone would lose interest if someone as dull as you were spea-'

'Stop squabbling!' Galinda screeched, slamming her fist down on the table and shaking all the coffee mugs.

When everyone deservedly stared at her as if she'd gone insane, she blushed. 'I mean... can't you two at least _try_ to get along? Would it really be so hard?'

'Yes!' Avaric and Elphaba retorted in unison, then glared at each other.

Galinda buried her head in her hands as they begun another argument. Fiyero tilted his head to one side- his eyes flooded with realisation at the reason for her outburst. Their little bet had completely slipped his mind.

'Hey Glin, listen,' he whispered, Avaric and Elphaba's raised voices conveniently concealing their's. 'You don't have to take that bet we made seriously, you know? We just got a little heated in the mo-'

She shushed him. 'Don't you dare, Mr Tigelaar. You're going to rue the day you doubted my amazifying matchmaking skills!'

Just after she'd finished, Avaric fired another road from his well oiled vegetable insult firearm (his store of ammunition was inexhaustible) and Fiyero couldn't help but scoff.

'Yeah. Good luck with that.'


End file.
